My Dad Was Dying Halfway Through my Second Pregnancy

baby birth childbirth mother postpartum doula Oct 19, 2021

It’s only in looking back in time that I realize both of my pregnancies involved a lot of stress. You may have seen my recent blog about my first pregnancy, when I was deserted at seven months pregnant.  You can read that here. Fast forward seven years.

I was remarried, and had a thriving postpartum doula service. My pregnancy was physically easy. I felt healthy and alive with excitement. The only stressor was my Dad was dying of cancer. It was great that he knew I was pregnant, yet it was sad that we knew he would never meet his grandson.

Did I have depression or anxiety?  I was definitely stressed out, sad, and angry. Grief can disguise itself as depression.  The rollercoaster of emotions I was experiencing had to have affected my baby. I knew this from the first time around. Though, this was different.

This time I had a lot of support from a loving husband, son, my Mom (again). Even though my Mom was also grieving, she was able to provide the love and support that I needed.  I also received lots of love and support from my doula community.  I had experienced tremendous growth as a woman, Mom and doula, and had learned how powerful I was.

Still, I now wonder if the anxiety that my second son experiences has anything to do with his life in my womb.   It’s not that I feel guilty about it, just that I now know so much about how the environment shapes a person, starting in the womb.

I share this because when you are a postpartum doula, it’s key to your success to be able to find out what’s happening in the life of your client. Ideally, you’ll want to do this before the birth. Getting to know who you are going to be serving, and what their overall health is will guide you in your work.

Life circumstances are not separate from visioning and planning for the postpartum period. The birth is not separate from what comes next. Pregnancy is not an isolated time disconnected from what follows.

We are whole beings and deserve to be treated as such. In a culture that treats mental, physical and spiritual as separate, it’s past time to connect all the dots for optimal health and well-being. This goes for new Moms, Dads and everyone on this planet.

Get to know who your clients are, how they feel, and who they want around them during this time of rebirth, and tremendous transformation.


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