When Your Postpartum Doula Client Hands you the Remote

mother care postpartum doula Jun 15, 2021

I'm the type of person who likes to keep busy, especially when someone is paying me to work. Being a postpartum doula never feels like work, yet when getting paid, this is what I call it.

So.... what happens when you're on a job, working with a Mom and Dad's at work. Mom says, "I'm going to take a nap with the baby." Then she hands you the remote to the T.V.?

Yes, this has happened to me more than once. My first thought is, "I'll find something to do. I can't sit here and watch T.V.." I realize that I've completed all the chores and tasks that I was asked to do and the house is immaculate because these people have a housekeeper.

Now what?

It's a great challenge for most of us to have nothing to do. I always bring a bag of stuff I need, like snacks, and a notebook. I've learned to bring a book that has to do with my continued learning as a doula, or self-development.

Somehow I feel better reading than watching T.V. You could also do some writing or meditation. If you've got your laptop you might catch up on a course, or emails.

Sometimes you can find things to do in the house; something to arrange, or put away. That can feel like being a bit snoopy. Like the time my doula found a bag of marijuana when cleaning out the silverware drawer. Actually, she said she wasn't sure, that it might have been something else. She did have teenagers and was familiar with the look and smell. At any rate, my doula closed the drawer and went onto something else. You may have done something different.

Point is that sometimes, there isn't anything to "DO."

This mother wants you in the house. Your presence is like a security blanket. She's probably able to sleep with ease knowing you're there to listen for the baby, or to answer questions. When she wakes up she knows you're there for her.

Practicing the art of presence and being with yourself is something you can do all the time everyday. You'll get in touch with how you are feeling, and what's going on within.

Your way of being sets the tone when you enter someone else's territory. Aim for being a calm, peaceful energy.

When you have a client that needs a lot done, and a great amount of emotional support, you'll be ready. Your ability to sense what's needed from you will become easier and easier when you practice presence.

Email me a question, and I may just write a blog about it or answer it in my  Facebook Group.

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